Two Best Eds VS Creepy Games
by Shaman94
Summary: Edd & Eddy bite off more then they can chew when they play scary games. The third spinoff to the TBEP series.
1. Slender: The Eight Pages

Eddy: What's Slenderman?

Edd: Really, you don't know what Slenderman is?

Eddy: Nope.

Edd: He is only like the most awesome Internet monster in the world.

Eddy: Oh, that explains why I don't know who he is. Because I have a life outside of the Internet.

Edd: You have a life because you work for the Internet.

Eddy: And what exactly makes Slenderman the most bitching thing ever?

Edd: The fact that he is able to...

Eddy: You got nothing, huh?

Edd: Shut up, he's more b*tch awesome then crappy Jeff the killer.

Eddy: Just a human with a perminate grin? Yeah they have a cure for that, it's called "Batman".

Edd: Slenderman would curb stomp the both of them in a fight.

Eddy: You don't even know what he does. For all you know he can only bad touch you and run away.

Edd: He's like ten feet tall and has these Cthulhu tentecals on his back.

Eddy: Then he should utilize those traits more often, rather then hiding in the background of family photos.

Edd: He stalks you in those pictures.

Eddy: Yeah, that's what scares me. A camera shy pedobear.

Edd: You... You just don't get it!

* * *

They play the hallway level.

Edd: Oh, this is so creepy. He can just pop up from behind any corner we turn at.

Eddy: If he could only move when we aren't looking at him, then why don't we just keeping staring at him? You know, it worked on the wheeping angles.

Edd: They're more like a love child of a Wheeping Angle and a Silence.

Eddy: I can't picture that happening in anyway possible.

Edd: Simple, the lights would be off.

Eddy: No that's just your nights with Blossom.

Edd: You forgot your mom on that list.

Eddy: That's the only way you would do her. Your so ugly no girl will ever want that thumb between your legs.

Edd:... If you were a girl I'd be so turned on right now.

Eddy: Ahhhh, you had to go there. Oh, f*** there he is!

Edd: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Slenderman got them.

Eddy: That's it give me the controller.

* * *

Eddy now is playing.

Eddy: This is how a real man handles a guy in tuxedos.

Edd: By wetting himself uncontrollabley and crying for his momma?

Eddy: No that's how you handle it.

Edd: Is that how?

Eddy: Yeah it is, na.

Edd: Na.

* * *

Several minutes of taunting eachother later.

Edd: So is there a Slenderwoman?

Eddy: First of all, why do you ask me as if I knew the answer to that? Second of all, why are you so curious?

Edd: Well it's just that his name implies that there is only one being only a "Man" and not "Men".

Eddy: He has that side kick of his.

Edd: The kid in a mask?

Eddy: Yeah.

Edd: Not really the same species. I don't count him.

Eddy: Well I don't know what to tell you man. There's only one Slenderman and he has a dick... I assume. Which is more then I can say for you.

Edd: Just ask your mom, she'll tell you what she felt.

Eddy: Oh, that's so funny because my mom is like the most generous person in the world.

Edd: Yeah but she's selfish in bed.

Eddy: No your just overpowered by girls easily.

Edd:... So... You admit I banged your mom then?

Eddy: That's it I'm out of here. Have fun with your slender, pedobear when he comes and murders you just to play with your twink body.

Edd: Wait no don't leave me alone with this game! We're only three pages away! Eddy!? Oh forget him.

* * *

Just one page away from winnig.

Edd: Oh man, what if he's behind this corner? What if Eddy is right and Slender just wants me for my awesome bod? And... He's not there. Good. Hey the last page.

He grabs the last page and the music begins to play while the screen grows dark. He makes a run for the door.

Edd: Yes! Yes, took a page right infront of him! Suck it Slenderman! Now just to get out of here. I just gotta stay calm man... Stay calm... And there's the front door. Just need to avoid these corners. And...

Eddy: Boo!

Edd: Ahahahahahahahah!

Slenderman wins.

Eddy: Hahahaha!

Edd: Ah man, forget you! I'm done with this game.

Eddy: Yeah get out of and go watch your Ancient Aliens or whatever you Nerds do.

Edd leaves. Eddy goes to his room and begins to here some knocking on his window.

Eddy: Slenderman?


	2. SCP: Containment Breach

Edd: Oh f***. Now we're playing this s***? We're so dead.

Eddy: You do realize it's just a game right?

Edd: A super totally, scary game.

Eddy: Whatever we need a name, what should it be?

Edd: Goku!

Eddy: No! F***! We need a real hero name.

Edd: Why you little...

Eddy: Oh! I got one.

Eddy types in Mr. Chahones.

Edd: Yeah! It describes us perfectly.

Eddy: He's what our fusion persona would be named.

Edd: 'I love you Mr. Chahones! You're my hero!'

Eddy: You would love Chahones.

Edd: That's what I told your mom last night.

Eddy: Serouisly!?

Edd: That's three for thirty three.

Eddy: Yeah, in Yo Mama jokes.

Edd: They're still jokes.

* * *

The start the beginning of the game.

Eddy: Is that a rag doll?

Edd: It's Talking Tina. Minus talking of course.

Eddy: Oh so it's just the boy version of that doll?

Edd: Yes. What if that was a toy line?

Eddy: That is the toy line. Wy do you think Ken comes with full package? Barbie is the one who calls the shots around there.

Edd: That's why she shaks up with G. while Ken is off at work.

Eddy: Joe is the OG pimp. Well at least of toys.

They find SCP in the corner of the room.

Eddy: Hehe, what's he doing in the room all alone?

Edd: It gets very lonely in this containment room.

Eddy: Yeah that's something you and him have in common, isn't it Double D?

Edd: But I'm dating Blossom.

Eddy: And has she let you get any yet?

Edd: ... Shut up.

The lights begin to go out and SCP begins to attack.

Eddy: What the f***!? Where do I go?

Edd: Away from the direction with everyone dying. Go the other way.

Eddy: There is no other way.

Edd: You just got to...

SCP gets them.

Edd & Eddy: ...

Eddy: What the Hell? What just happened.

Edd: The doll just Weeping Angled you.

Eddy: The doll just made BenDrowned look like a lazy b****.

Edd: Like a boss.

* * *

They start again.

Eddy: Okay now we observe our surroundings before charging in blindly.

Edd: See there's a door you can use. Told you there was another way.

Eddy: F*** it. I'm staying right here, next to the door.

Edd: That's what I would do. Well actually I would've never taken the job in the first place.

Eddy: Depends how much they give me.

Edd: Twelve dollars and a freebie.

Eddy: I'd do it.

Edd: That's what your mom said.

Eddy: Oh come on!

Edd: Im on a Yo Mom street... Hey that's another one. Just like you that was a complete accident.

Eddy: I'm up to here. I used to be here now I'm all the way up to here.

Edd: Yeah, your mom was down here. Alright it's getting old...

Eddy: Don't...

Edd: Like...

Eddy: No...

Edd: Your...

Eddy: I mean it...

Edd: ... Dad!

Eddy: Why you... Oh wait... Clever.

They escape to the hallway.

Eddy: See this is why I play the scary games. You would all freak out and die in an instant.

Edd: No I wouldn't.

Eddy: You so would. It's almost as pathetic as when you played Slender.

Edd: .you left me all alone on that one.

Eddy: Oh so you're saying that as long as I'm right here next to you, while you're playing the game, you will not cry like a little b****?

Edd: Of course.

Eddy: Then here. Take it.

Edd: No.

Eddy: Chicken?

Edd: Of course not.

Eddy: Then play the game or should I get Ed and tell him there's a chicken in the mansion?

Edd: Give me that controller.

New player Edd.

Edd: See it's not that bad. Just need to go through this room and Ahahahah!

SCP gets Edd.

Eddy: You know that would've been more scary if he wasn't like half glitch into the wall.

Edd: How does he kill you too?

Eddy: Can you really call it a him? Does he have any junk?

Edd: I don't know, I don't look there when he's killing me.

Eddy: What do you think he does to your body after he kills you? Something Halo related maybe?

Edd: That's all he wants to do. SCP with a capital T bag.

Eddy: SCP don't play no s***!

* * *

Edd waits in the next room watching SCP on the TV monitor.

Edd: Look at SCP standing there. Why does he just stand there?

Eddy: It's because the SCP monsters act like they're in a union and just sit around getting all fat and do nothing while someone is watching them.

SCP disappears once again.

Edd: Oh man he knows we're watching him.

Eddy: Just like the girls know when we're watching them in the shower.

Edd: You watch them in the shower?

Eddy: ... Of course not.

SCP kills Edd once more.

Eddy: That's why.

Edd: What?

Eddy: I just realized why I hate these SCP monsters.

Edd: Why?

Eddy: They look like those punk a** b****es that replaced the Toon City bumpers on Cartoon Network. You know? When it first started going down hill.

Edd: It's true. Ah man now I wanna kill them too.

Eddy: I never said anything about killing them.

Edd:... Neither did I.

* * *

Eddy: What is a SCP anyways?

Edd: It's that rag doll... Slender man... Bendrowned looking Motha.

Eddy: Sounds legit.

Edd: Oh and hey Eddy.

Eddy: What?

Edd: P.S...

Edd & Eddy: DON'T F***ING BLINK!


	3. Amnesia

Eddy: What are we playing?

Edd: I don't know. I just can't remember for some reason.

Eddy: Oh well, probably is one of those under the radar games or something.

Edd: Yeah.

* * *

Eddy: Amnesia is so awesome. You got all the Cthulhu monsters that wanna just fill all your man holes with their tentacles.

Edd: Why is that awesome?

Eddy: Because then when you die and get to the other side you could tell people what it took to take you down.

Edd: If I could b**** about how awesomely I went out like an OG, I would want it to be by something like a machine gun wielding ninja riding a dinosaur ambushed me while I was making love to his woman, sister and mom all at the sometime.

Eddy:... The dinosaurs woman, sister and mom?

Edd: No! The ninja's.

Eddy: Oh yeah but with your luck they would be all fat and overaged and probably force themselves on you.

Edd: Aww... just like your mom dose to me every night.

Eddy: Just f***ing play the game.

* * *

Both of them pick a name for their character.

Eddy: Why Randolph Carter?

Edd: Thats the name of the guy H. used as the hero in his stories.

Eddy: Didn't someone like Neil Gaiman also make him like the grandson of John Carter?

Edd: That movie was pretty awesome. I don't see why it got all thumbs down.

Eddy: Especially with Disney backing it up. A rare miss.

* * *

Now traveling down the dark hallways.

Edd: Isn't this the game where even the monsters have full package?

Eddy: It's either this game or one just like it.

Edd: D*** back in the old day all you needed to do was make it really gory like Doom. Now you could Pyramid Head it up and have him do anything to mannequins.

Eddy: Someone should make a Pyramid Head versus Slender Man story.

Edd: Our writer already did.

Eddy: No kidding?

Edd: For real.

Eddy: How's it end?

Edd: Read it and find out... But only once you're done reading our story.

Eddy: Of course.

Edd: Naturally.

* * *

They encounter their first monster and try to avoid being spotted by it.

Edd: Oh where do I hide?

Eddy: In the book case! Hurry before he feels all your man holes.

Hides in the nearest closet worderobe.

Eddy: See that Double D? Even the game knows you're hiding in the closet.

Edd: You focus a lot of time on me and my closet fixations.

They watch the monster search the room.

Eddy: Can you feel the fear?

Edd: You can cut the tension with a butter knife.

Eddy: Why a butter knife?

Edd: What else would you use to cut it with?

Eddy: A chainsaw motherf***er!

Edd: Yeah that's lame.

Eddy: Autocorrect is lame.

Edd: But chainsaws are lamer.

Eddy: I will fight you.

* * *

They reach a basement room level and can't figure out the puzzle as to where they need to go or do to move on to the next room.

Edd: Aman, this game is frustrating.

Eddy: I keep expecting a monster to pop out from no where and like have its cthulhuian way with you and frankly that's just stressing me out.

Edd: Not to mention this puzzle has no direction on what I need to do or even a hint as how to solve it.

Eddy: We need to play a game that won't stress us out so much.

* * *

Now playing Lego Batman.

Edd & Eddy: DADADADADADADA BATMAN!

Edd: Im happy now.

Eddy: I feel joy once more in my life.


	4. Corpse Party

Edd:Yeah! Lets hear it for anime boobies! Yay!

Eddy: F***! Where do you get these games?

Edd: Internet.

Eddy: Well of course.

Edd: Granted it involved me doing a lot of things I am not legally allowed to tell you about nor do I want to tell you about.

Eddy: What ever. Lets get this Perv party or wahat ever it's called over with.

Edd: Perv party you hear this guy reader? Will you just let me have this moment?

* * *

Opening story.

Eddy: Okay, I have some questions?

Edd: Lets hear them.

Eddy: If you're a ghost and haunt a school you died in, how does one not piece together that they are dead? Why would any principle or body for that matter care about a school, of all things, closing down?

Edd: Because then he'd loose his power over children that he slowly built over the years.

Eddy: Why isn't his ghost haunting the school? Do the ghosts have a union if they were teachers in the previous life? These are questions people want answered America.

Edd: The gams from Japan though.

Eddy: Nintendo can eat my a**! I just want answers.

* * *

The blackout happens.

Eddy: Oh, it's happening just like the girl said it would.

Edd: Meanwhile Satoshi or whatever acts like a girl and freaks out.

Eddy: 'Satoshi-San, pull yourself together Man! You just gotta be cool man!'

Edd: Why did you make her Jamaican?

Eddy: Because that's what I was going for, Japanese/Jamaican. It's a double whammy.

Edd: When have there been anything other then White people on Japanese games, comics, and anime?

Eddy: You got Bobobo, the black Russian guy from Durarara, the voodoo fighter from Street Fighter, Brock from Pokemon.

Edd: Surprisingly a lot when you think about it.

Then the knocking sounds happen and Satoshi buries his face in Naomi chest.

Edd: 'Get off of me that's my chest!' Oh yeah.

Eddy: Are you f***ing serious?

Edd: Satoshi hide in the greatest place a man can hide, in a woman's fun bags!

Eddy: Even in video games Japanese manage to throw in something all perverted.

Edd: Don't hate the playas, hate the game.

Eddy: I do. I hate this game so much right now.

Ms. Shishido then pops up.

Eddy: Ms. Shisisydu? Shicsih?

Edd: Ms. Suska? Shi...?

Edd & Eddy: How the hell do you pronounce that?

Edd: Lets just call her Ms. Sushi.

Eddy: I can live with that.

Edd: 'It wasn't too long ago since I was a student here at (Japanese school name).' Like you don't say?

Eddy: Thats a tilf. Look at that tilf.

Edd: 'Why just last week I was in this class fighting alongside the Sailor Scouts and leading the Mew Mew force into battle.'

Eddy: 'What happened Ms. Sushi?'

Edd: 'I became too old to play the role of a loli. Now I just spend the rest of my days stuck with these dirty pillows.'

Yuka then enters the room.

Edd: Speaking of lolis.

Eddy: Nope. Not even going there man.

Edd: Look at all the girls just going crazy for Yuka.

Eddy: Now Satoshi will get all the ladies with his little sister.

Edd: 'You find me irresistible now because you see how adorable our future children can be.'

Eddy: If you don't use family members to get all the things in life you want then what's the use of them?

Then Naomi tries to silent the other girl.

Edd: 'I swear this mouth of yours says the craziest things.' What is she doing to her face?

Eddy: Whatever 8-bit pixelization can do for it.

* * *

Everyone is now posing for a group picture.

Eddy: What's happening now? I go to the bathroom for a minute and now this s*** is happening.

Edd: Turns out, one of these lolis are leaving for a new school tomorrow and they all want to stay friends forever and started to recite one liners from MLP.

Eddy: Ah man, if I had the chance to get away from you just by moving to a new school...

Edd: Well why are you over here, in this part of the mansion, right now if you don't want to play?

Eddy: ... That's a good point. See ya.

Edd: Wait Eddy. I was in the middle of a something! Something important!

* * *

Yeah it would've been a longer chapter but then the walkthrough video I found froze up so review if you want a second play through.


	5. Walking Dead (The Bad One)

Edd & Eddy: Yeah! Telltale!

Eddy: Game of the year right here!

Edd: I can't wait.

The game comes on but it's not the one made by Telltale.

Eddy: What the f***? This doesn't look like game of the year material.

Edd: Maybe it'll get better as we go.

Eddy: Pfft... Sure whatever.

The continue anyways.

They see that they're playing as Daryl.

Eddy: Wait. There aren't supposed to be anyone from the show on the game.

Edd: Maybe they just meant none of the ones that everybody hates which is why Daryl is the only one.

Eddy: I wanna say that's wrong but sounds about right.

Ed: Rick is likable.

Eddy: He gets whipped by everyone through season one and two.

Edd: He pretty much does but wait Ed! You're not dead!

Eddy: Yeah what's with that?

Ed: Rumors of my death were greatly over hyped.

Eddy: Those are the best rumors of death.

Edd: So Ed, what were you going to say about the greatest show about zombies that has nothing to do with zombies on TV?

Ed: I was just going to say that Daryl wasn't even in the comics. He was just made for the show.

Eddy: So! Game of Thrones like mashed eight of the books characters into one for the show.

Edd: Imagine how boring our show could've been if Danny made us into one character.

Eddy: We'd be Doug Funny. Oh! See that! I just bashed ya nick.

Edd: If you're old enough to know who we're talking about then you would get the joke. If not then Wikipedia it kids.

Ed: Or just ask us we like the company.

Eddy: Shhh...! Don't tell the readers our dark secret.

Ed: We're so lonely!

* * *

The Eds encounter their first zombie.

Eddy: Check it. Already has more zombies then all three seasons of the show and comics put together.

Edd: Hahaha!

Ed: It's called the Walking Dead and for the first two seasons I saw only like a zombie for a minute each episode.

Edd: Season three is where they get the budget for our zombie lovers.

Ed:The producers got all super butt hurt because everyone was complaining about the show not having any zombies and they were all like "What? What do zombies have to do with the Walking Dead?"

Eddy: I was at the comic shop the other day and found the latest issue of Walking and not a single zombie in any panels.

Edd: So it's not the shows fault then?

Eddy: Apparently not.

* * *

The Eds seek the gasoline they need to start the car.

Eddy: Where are any good games based on TV shows?

Ed: We got the Walking Dead, Doctor Who, Game of Thrones, Star Wars the Clone Wars, Dragonball Z games, Superman 64.

Edd: You see the pattern in these games folks?

Ed: I manage to mention Superman 64. Someone give me a medal.

* * *

The Eds get annoyed with the game.

Eddy: This games so glitched up.

Edd: Hold on I'll hit the TV real quick.

The screen begins to change. The Taletell game finally comes on.

Eddy: What happened?

Ed: It looks good now.

Edd: When did Daryl become black?

Eddy: If I had a dime for every hero of mine that managed to change their ethnicity I'd have two dimes. One for Daryl and one for Nick Fury.

Ed: Thats just a sign of how awesome they are.

Eddy: Alright. Tell ya guys what. Lets take a break and we'll comeback to finish this game next chapter.

Edd: Works for me.

Ed: Copout!

Eddy: Shut up Ed.

To Be Continued...


	6. Walking Dead (The Good One)

Eddy: And we're back.

Edd: Everyone thought we were dead I bet.

Eddy: No. Not just dead...

Edd & Eddy: But Walking Dead! Yeah!

Eddy: I like how they fixed the problem the show had. By getting rid of the characters from the show.

Edd: Yeah. I just learned that Walking Dead the comic was made by Canadians?

Eddy: Well Double D, as we both know some of the best things to hit TV are made by Canadians.

Edd: The rest by Hollywood, California. And yes, its as great as everyone says it is.

* * *

The first part of the first episode. Lee is in the police car.

Eddy: The man is keeping me down.

Edd: Not again.

Eddy: Always trying to keep the gamer down.

Edd: They all want to stop your shine.

The car crashes.

Eddy: See. This is why you always wear your seatbelt, Because pedestrians always have the right of way... Except for when they're in the way.

Edd: True, but if you do survive the crash and not that I'm giving anyone any ideas here but you will get some awesome painkillers for your discomfort.

Eddy: Eh he. And how do you know all of this exactly?

Edd: I have a whole secret life you know nothing about. And again, not that I'm suggesting any ideas to you people here.

Eddy: Yeah, just ignore that part and stick to our rule of thumb about pedestrians.

* * *

The Eds encounter their first zombie in the house on episode one.

Eddy: The thing I don't get about the whole zombie thing is why would destroying the brain kill something that's already decomposing and dead?

Edd: You really want to argue logic about a zombie?

Eddy: No, I wanna argue against the logic of a zombie. Killing their already dead brain shouldn't have any effect on them. Especially since they decompose so quickly apparently.

Edd: Thats why I liked World War Z.

Eddy: They looked just like normal people but sick, huh?

Edd: Yeah. Like that's more believable.

Eddy: Legit zombies!

* * *

They meet Clementine for the first time.

Eddy: Behold Sockhead. This is the only child that is actually bearable in any game, TV, movie, etc.

Edd: Yeah, little black girls are the most precious.

Eddy: For my top five child characters in fiction it's, Clementine, Clementine, Clementine, Clementine and Arya Stark.

Edd: No relation to Tony Stark.

Eddy: Shame, the Iron Throne should be for an Ironman.

* * *

The Eds admire the graphics.

Eddy:I love how its all comic art style.

Edd: Just like Darksiders.

Eddy: Or most Live arcade games.

Edd: Bloodforge.

Eddy: By Crom Double D, I see a new chapter in our future.

* * *

The game jumps ahead to The Next 400 Days.

Eddy: You ever notice how on the TV series, when ever they get a new black guy the one they currently have gets killed off?

Edd: I did actually catch onto that. Have you noticed that they also kill of all the likable characters and keep all the annoying ones, like Lori and Andrea.

Eddy: Yeah. They finally killed those two off but it only took them like three seasons to do that.

Edd: The same number of seasons it took them to finally get some zombies.

Eddy: And for me to loose all interest in it.

Edd: You lost interest already?

Eddy: You didn't?

Edd: Ah, screw you. You're just a dumb buttlord. Go back to your nerd shows like... Gurren Lagann and Doctor Who.

Eddy: You're going to say s*** is for nerds and then defend Walking Dead?

The Eds begin arguing and yelling things I can't repeat on a Teen rated fanfic, even censored. Five minutes later.

Edd: Okay. We gotta play something that won't stress us out so much.

* * *

The Eds switch over to Undead Nightmare.

Eddy: Yup partner. Some times it's the west that is the most peaceful place to be.

Edd: Mainly California.

Eddy: I thought we lived somewhere like, east coast?

Edd: I don't know. They never make it clear where Peach Creek is.

* * *

And so concludes part two of the Eds Walking Dead games play through. But how long until series two comes out?... Foreshadowing.


	7. They Bleed Pixels

Title screen.

Ed: Hello folks. Ed here again standing in for Eddy & Double D with my ne friend Brief.

Brief: Im apart of something!

Ed: Lets begin!

* * *

Watching the opening sequence with the little goth girl going to the school.

Ed: Gothic Loli! Gothic Loli!

Brief: She really is isn't she?

Ed: I didn't know Stocking had her own video game already.

Brief: Somehting about Lovecraft just screams gothic themed anime for some reason and no one knows why.

Ed: I prefer the Evil Dead style. Chainsaw versus demonic book. Lets get it on!

Now in the library sequence where the girl finds the bloody book.

Ed: Speaking of evil books.

Brief: No. Don't go after the book.

The book brings the girl to her nightmare world.

Ed: What is it about misplaced demonic artifacts that attracts people to them? Can't people just say no?

Brief: It's like the guy behind school who offers you (Chemical substance) but you don't have that instinct to say no.

Ed: And instead of building a dependence she grew wolverine claws.

Brief: Id want that book.

Ed: I know, me too.

* * *

They practice their fighting skills.

Ed: Alright, attack.

The girl takes the first slash in the practice.

Ed & Brief: Whoa!

Ed: Check that attack out! That's a hack n' slash mechanic!

Brief: The blood just flies out. It's like they are in rage mode when she cuts them apart.

Ed: Id imagine so. I'd be pissed too if some gothic loli just ran up to me in my home dimension and started cutting me apart.

Brief: Well yeah. Duh! I'm just saying look at the look fly.

Ed: No! Not blood, they don't bleed blood like you and I,...

Ed & Brief: They Bleed Pixels!

* * *

Second stage of training, learning to dash.

Ed: Come on, say it with me.

Brief: No.

Ed: Real quick?

Brief: No.

Ed: What if I just yell and you say it quietly under your breath?

Brief: No.

* * *

Next they preform combos.

Ed: Yes. Yes! Yes! Yes!

Brief: And there goes the spikes!

Ed: America! What you got Lovecraft universe? You got nothing!

Brief: Such am ironic name for such an emo-esque guy.

Ed: I know, right? The guy was like born to prove names mean s***.

* * *

They play through the game now.

Ed: This is awesome. This is Awesome! This is AWESOME!

They leap from wall to wall and make jumps like a boss.

Ed: This is how you do free running in a game Assassins Creed! Take notes!

Brief: Don't you dare bad mouth Assassins Creed! That's all accurate.

Ed: Accurate enough to just cop out and make it about Ancient Aliens near the end. Great story boarding guys. Just hope on to the shows success why don't you? Do whatever it takes to sale copies, huh?

* * *

They encounter slippery floors.

Ed: Well... Apparently the monsters have needs they had to satisfy all over this floor... And the walls... And your moms house.

Brief: Really? Just really?

* * *

Ed: Real quick?

Brief: No.

Ed: I'll pay you.

Brief: No.

Ed: I'll make ya feel good.

Brief: No.

* * *

They find a small orb like enemy.

Ed: What's this supposed to do?

Brief: It's flashing.

Ed: Well, I don't wanna find out what it does first hand. Shoo you.

They literally kick it off the platform, yes! You can just kick enemies in this game. The creature then explodes.

Ed: The monsters are going all out.

Brief: Signs of desperation... For the first level.

Ed: It's unamerican. It's Americ-Na!

* * *

Ed: Please?

Brief: No.

Ed: Please?

Brief: No.

Ed: I'll get you nude pics of Panty.

Brief: N- well... Okay. But only this once.

Ed: Deal!

Ed juggles an enemy and attacks them several times in mid air.

Ed & Brief: Oh! Oh! Oh!

Ed then kicks the enemy into spikes spewing from the walls.

Ed & Brief: SUCK IT PANTY & STOCKING! SUCK IT POWERPUFF GIRLS! SUCK IT RAVEN AND STARFIRE! GOTHIC LOLI IS OUR HERO NOW! AMERICA!

Ed: See? Now wasn't that satisfying?

Brief: It surprisingly was. Oh look, you made a checkpoint.

Ed: What? It automatically makes a checkpoint when you've killed enough people? Nine out of ten! Nine out of ten! Great mechanics! Nine out of ten! America! Nine out of ten!


End file.
